Hearts of Queens

So tell me how you feel so we can take our hearts away. No matter what we do, what we say, it means nothing if you can’t say it out loud.

It’s not that she liked to be alone; it’s not that she wouldn’t mind the company, to join their conversations. It was just that she had no idea how. They go out of their way to be rejected by tears and mumbles. I just can’t. People who say they like being alone are either liars or arrogant of their own popularity. Some people don’t have a choice. She has to be alone because it’s easier to deal with the loneliness than to force her to follow the social niceties and mannerisms, but it hurts just as much. Nostalgia and memories is something she can’t stand anymore. Even in times like these when they are her closest friends, when she’s alone, when they’re all she has left. She cannot live with them without taking permanent residence in her mind. Count me out (in).

You told her you wanted to hear the rest of her story even when no one else would listen. You were surrounded by people, but, at that moment, it was just the two of you. Your crystal blue eyes locked in a steady gaze upon hers. I swear, at that moment, she loved you, but your gaze strayed and there were others searching for you. They wanted you and they stole you away.

Make the same mistake twice and taste the red love that bursts from her heart. It’s all over her now. No tasteless conversations and bitter words meant to kill, to pierce her skin and penetrate my soul. Time is all I have left and even that is running out. No, it’s wrong and it’s cruel to let myself die, but I haven’t been instructed on how to live. I can’t do something if I’ve never been taught. HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO CHANGE EVERYTHING THAT I AM? But I have died, without committing suicide. I can breathe enough to blow away the dust that settles upon me as I lay dying; as I lay dead.